bleeding

my heart is bleeding. i feel so depressed to be in this school. in macro economics lecture now. but no motivation to study whatsoever. sigh. since i stepped out of cambridge, my heart has been bleeding. i don't know how to preach at cg later. i feel so down. sigh. this school is really affecting my whole life. i can accept that it's not harvard. but i cannot accept the fact that it's soooooooooooooo far off. and even worse, i cannot cannot cannot accept that it's not even trying to move towards harvard standard. my heart bleeds. i think i'm headed for a total breakdown soon.