there is nothing to fear but fear itself

i don't have a lot of fears. but i have a few. i fear that hock street popular beef kway teow will close down before i die. i fear that mei yuan duck rice will close down before i die. i fear that bee bee carrot cake will close down before i die. i fear that the bak chor mee near my place will close down before i die. u kinda get the picture.

and one of my worst fears may be coming true. the curry rice at marine parade may close down at the end of the month. plans to open elsewhere are not confirmed yet. apparently the whole coffee shop they are at is undergoing renovation and when done, rent will rise inordinately. sighs. ahwells.

as the time to leave for china draws closer and closer, i am feeling less and less prepared. oh no. sighs. i really am not looking forward to going. i really hope my experience there will be a good one. boston and new york left such an imprint on me. i hope china is the same. but...sighs. my insides are churning uncomfortably at the thought of spending 6 months there. underneath the facade that has everything under control, i'm a wreck. omg. i still have a lot of stuff to settle before leaving. i don't know how to cope.

have been meeting up with pple and have arranged lots of meetings. have been good. always a pleasure to catch up with friends. had lunch with pastor chee kiang and claire today. pastor chee kiang is more than just a pastor to me. he's a great mentor and a great friend. no matter what i've gone through in the ministry, even at times that i seem to falter, pastor has always been faithful. thank you pastor. :-)