dying

i was so sick yesterday i seriously thought i was gonna die. i was in and out of the toilet more than 10 times (i exaggerate not). it was horrible. today was much better though well, still not the best.

i need to admit that i'm feeling homesick. suddenly, i really really miss cafe cartel. 237 - pan fried macaroni without julienne peppers. and their pork ribs. oh their pork ribs. i miss my bed, that is so much more comfy than mine here - a very hard bed. i miss bowling and watching movies with sebbers. i have not seen a movie theatre here though i'm sure they exist. lols. i went to the bowling alley here in school. it was hilarious! you bowl, and say, u have 5 pins left, the machine clears and viola - only 3 pins left. you bowl, oh, missed a strike by one, the machine clears and u automatically have a spare. every set, and i do mean every set, i was given a few freebies here and there. oh man.

i miss my mum and my brothers. my dad's here at times so it's all right. and he calls to check in on  me. oh man oh man. i'm a sad little man. which scares me. because this may mean that i end up doing something stupid. oh my oh my.

i've been thinking about my studies and my future. i really really screwed up last semester. such an irreversible screw up. my cap is gone. now my best strategy is...i don't know what my best strategy is to be honest. what can i do? sighs.

i really need to pull myself together. and get past all these and really try to make my life work. try to realign myself back to my dreams. step by step, i will get there. c'mon aaron. u can do it!!