the effects of depression

up till now, i still wonder why i let myself slip into such a severe depression last year. time kept moving. it didn't wait for me to get better. when i look at my gpa right now, it's absolutely what i deserve for last semester. but how can i redeem myself from this horrendous mess? oh man. i need to study. i know that. but i'm not doing it. it's bad. and that's an understatement. i want to take seven modules next semester and work really really really hard on them to pull myself up to a decent fighting chance for hons. and then i realise that even if i get hons, i don't even have a chance at second upper (it's mathematically impossible). don't talk about first class. even if i take seven modules for the next four consecutive semesters and get an A- average every semester, i still would get a second lower. the only way i can get second upper (first class is mathematically impossible no matter what) is if i get an A average every semester. oh crap. what did i get myself into man. i think my best deal is searching for a job. starting now.