so old

haha. i got a missed call from singapore and naturally, didn't know who it was because my system doesn't give me caller id. a while later, darian called and asked, "did u call?"
i said, "no, did u?".
he said, "no, i got a missed call from overseas."
i said, "no, i got a missed call from singapore."
and it went on from there. hahaha.

i woke up this morning feeling really old. i was aching all over. it's possible it could be due to the gym work. i've gone to the gym for 19 consecutive days now and this week, i've run 10km every day, done weights and swam more than 800m per day. i think it's the aging. i feel so old. i've turned 23. birthdays used to be energetic and vibrant but these few years, my celebrations have mellowed down to a level i feel comfortable with. basically i'm old!

when i talk to old friends, and we reminisce, we eventually realise what we're thinking about happened many years ago and so it enforces the point that we are really old! next year is actually the year of the tiger. i would have gone through the chinese zodiac twice. 24 years old. and nothing to my name so far.

i can understand why people would go through a mid life crisis. if u haven't achieved much and u just keep getting older, it will increasingly get to u until a certain point when u reach a threshold age and realise u're really not young anymore. that's when u snap and go into a mid life crisis. as i look back, my father resigned in the early 90s to enter into his own business. he was in his early 40s - mid life crisis. but i must say my father has done well. he has tried so many ventures and many have been unsuccessful. but he also has had his successes. we can live comfortably because of him. he's currently trying a new venture. am really keeping my fingers crossed and praying for him. i think his new venture really has a chance to become really really really successful if done right. well, my father's turning 60 next year. this is probably going to be one of his last legacies.

my mum went through her crisis a little later. she resigned from her high paying comfortable job to take care of us and for many years, that was enough for her. but in recent years, we've all been out (either out of the house or even out of the country). and then she went through her near-death experience. coupled with facing an empty house every day, it hit her. she could do more. that's why she went back to school this year! to pick up a certificate in counselling psychology, and even a degree if she wants to further, so that she can be more effective in her community work.

everyone goes through a mid life crisis. i am at my quarter life crisis now. i need to do more with my life! i know i'm really not that old relative to most of the world's population, but i am really old relative to what i used to be! i know it will take time to achieve anything. but i'm just so impatient. this biding my time thing is not working out so well for me.

well, failing all else, i have lost a lot of weight over the past one year. that's an investment into my future. but i'm still not losing enough. time to gym today! another 10km, more weights and another 800m in the pool. oh gosh i hate exercise.